Address: The City Brasserie, Carrow Road Stadium, Norwich.
The other Saturday, I took my family to work. We caught the afternoon train to Norwich, pitched up for dinner, ate, and then caught the train back again: that's some six-and-a-half hours' travelling for a couple of hours' eating. It's not something I do every day. In fact, it's not something that I would think of doing at all, had not Delia Smith just opened The City Brasserie at Carrow Road Stadium, home of her beloved Norwich FC, aka, the Canaries.
I take my hat off to her. Our queen of the screen has no need to offer herself up as an Aunt Sally in the real world of restaurants. She, who has millions of devoted followers, who with the merest mention can transform the fortunes of a cranberry producer or a frying-pan manufacturer, who sells books in figures others can only envy, has no need of any eulogistic endorsement or to expose herself to the carping comments of peevish critics. But open one she has, so here goes...
It would take a genius of design and a stockpot full of money to transform this section of the Carrow Road complex into anything other than the corporate dining suite of a middle-ranking first division football club writ large.
Sensibly, the proprietor has chosen to leave it as close to the experience as possible: blown-up black-and-white photographs of heroes past and present cover the walls, football motifs liven up the window blinds, and the baggy trousers of the waiters and waitresses, elasticated at the top, have the same black-and-white colours as a ball, albeit arranged in irregular shapes, which, as my daughter observed, looked like cow pats on snow rather than anything to do with the great game. However, the staff carried the burdens of their uniforms with cheerfulness and obliging energy.
It is tempting to say that the menu is a game of two halves, but it isn't - it's of three courses of Delia classics, and it's all yours for £22. Piedmontese roasted peppers are there, as are: buckwheat blinis with smoked salmon and crème frache; a foaming hollandaise to go with local asparagus; jerk pork with grilled pineapple salsa; confit of duck with a compte of sour cherries; spinach-and-pinenut lasagne with three cheeses; fallen chocolate soufflé with Armagnac prunes and crème frache sauce; banana cheesecake with toffee pecan sauce; and meringue with mascarpone vanilla cream, summer berries and raspberry coulis. That's what you get: the dishes that have brought hope and happiness to millions of kitchens throughout Britain, in a restaurant, at restaurant prices. Indeed, both the blinis and the meringue are preceded with the phrase "home-made". In whose home, I wonder. Delia's, perhaps?
The impression of having stumbled in on some Delia-inspired dinner party - complete with jazz combo to provide the soothing vibe - is increased by the plating of the food, which has the artless quality of domestic arrangement. The cooking, too, has the uncertain ups and downs of the enthusiastic home chef. Ups included sound peppers, velvety, mild smoked salmon, fine foaming hollandaise, and succulent, fat-free duck confit with a properly sour cherry compte. Downs included soggy blinis, tough pork, coarse jerk seasoning that tasted as if it came from a bottle, starchy fresh peas, fallen chocolate soufflé that has fallen so far as to become a too, too solid wodge, and a meringue of death-embracing sweetness.
The question that restaurant goers have to ask themselves is: do they want to pay restaurant prices - our bill came to £89.50, which included a fine bottle of Cypress Shiraz from Oz at £17.50, mineral water and some lemonade - for food that you could reasonably expect to produce in your own home? Such, perhaps, is the power of the Delia Smith legend that, yes, they do. But what do I know? I'm only a peevish critic
Small Helpings
Offshore
15/20
Tel 020-7221 6090. Address Holland Park Avenue, London W11. Food Fish. Price £14.50-£30 a head (excluding drinks).
Clean, clear lines of split-level dining room. Clear, clean flavours. Fish in various shapes and guises, familiar and not so familiar, from Mauritian master Sylvain Ho Wing Cheong. Literate use of chilli, lime, garlic, tamarind, etc, to bring life to fishes and refreshment to tastebuds. Not cheap, but neither is good fish, or the talent to cook it well.
The Vineyard
17/20
Tel 01635 528770. Address Stockcross, Newbury, Berks. Food Modern French. Price £20-£70 a head (excluding drinks).
Southfork on the A4. A place of towering ambition, with taste to match. Shrieks expense account from the rooftops. Food and wine very classy, particularly when matched together, and generously served. Chef Billy Reid has a sophisticated touch and produces big flavours, easy balance, perfect pitch. Almost as many staff as guests. It costs, natch.
RK Stanley's
14/20
Tel 020-7462 0099. Address Little Portland Street, London W1. Food Sausages. Price £10-£15 a head (excluding drinks).
Sausage Heaven. Bangers in many forms and combinations given a touch of class by 40s (or is it 50s?) retro dining room - booths, banquette seating, bar and brouhaha. Sausages mutate. Most are decently made. Veggies to match. Top-notch chips. Decent mash and onion gravy. Big beer list. Pretty good value for money.
