1. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear but there’s nothing to stop you making a lovely pork pie.”

   1. Clement Freud

   2. Humphrey Lyttelton

   3. Michael Winner

2. “We may find in the long run that tinned food is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun.”

   1. Elizabeth David

   2. Clive James

   3. George Orwell

3. “If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.”

   1. Julia Child

   2. Gary Rhodes

   3. Clarissa Dickson Wright

4. “He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.”

   1. Samuel Johnson

   2. Jonathan Swift

   3. Mark Twain

5. “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”

   1. Anthony Bourdain

   2. Quentin Crisp

   3. Jonathan Meades

6. “Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.”

   1. Joanne Harris

   2. Jo Brand

   3. PJ O’Rourke

7. “Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

   1. Edmund Blackadder

   2. William Shakespeare

   3. Voltaire

8. “Never eat more than you can lift.”

   1. Jackie Mason

   2. Miss Piggy

   3. Orson Welles

9. “Well let’s face it, who on earth besides antique dealers and gay couples actually still give dinner parties.”

   1. Jeremy Clarkson

   2. Victoria Wood

   3. Nigel Slater

10. “Custard powder has been one of our minor national tragedies.”

    1. Alan Bennett

    2. Jane Grigson

    3. Katharine Whitehorn

Solutions

1:B, 2:C, 3:A, 4:B, 5:A, 6:B, 7:B, 8:B, 9:C, 10:B

Scores

1. 3 and above.

   Sorry! You're a Christmas pudding

2. 5 and above.

   So-so. You're a stocking filler

3. 8 and above.

   Excellent! You are a Christmas cracker